Sorry and Thank you 

I often get yelled at because my decisions are too spontaneous and on the fly. People usually say that I do things without thinking about them, truth is, I think about a million and one things at once and only expose permanent decisions. The first time I was told this was four years ago when one night I decided to cut my hair from waist length to cannot put it in a ponytail length. Then I was scolded again for not thinking about what I am doing when I decided to be on my high school softball team. And again when I got my noise piercing, and the very latest was my tattoo. My mom liked to blame it on my dad. She said ” si tu padre tuberias aqui tu no asieras eso” I was unsure of the validity of her statement. . I walked into my parents’ bedroom, junior year in high school to ask my dad to take me to the mall whenever he could during the week. That’s when he said “si no vamos hoy no vamos poder ir.” I asked why and that’s when he told me he was leaving , the next day. I packed my bag and we headed to the mall. I never held any hostility towards my dad leaving because he never left my side. He never broke up with us, not even my mom. We were all very well still a family, just 3 hours away in a plane and 18 hours away driving. My mom waited until I graduated high school to move back in with my dad. And those two years were the hardest. Not only was my dad gone, but I was contemplating whether or not I would be too while my mother cried about every one leaving her. Secretly, it’s why I was the first in my family to go away to college. I knew if I stayed, she would too and I knew my dad needed her more than I did.   


And I understood that she blamed dad and she still does but it was never his fault, he was just an example. Through him I learned that life is short, unexpected things happen, and happiness is a choice. Reflecting now, my mother’s statement was true. I would not be doing the things I do if it were not for my dad. I would be thinking about life way too much and talk myself out of every desire. I am glad that I don’t because my father taught me happiness is a choice that is made almost instantly and your happiness will stimulate the suffrage to others. So I guess this is a thank you note to my dad and an apology to my mom.


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