Inside out

sadness - inside out

The movie inside out has told the world what I have been trying to say through my experiences for the longest. Those who go back to my blog, in 2013 could read about how I really disliked my mom, how upset I was, insecure, lonely, and the unworthiness that I felt. Now although most of this could sound pretty depressing, writing is my outlet and the reason as to why I am a happier person in 2015. If I would have not written, I do not know how much sadness I would feel. Probably close to depression. In this movie, through a series of events with the main character (Riley) the writer’s show how important sadness is for the growth of individuals and relationships. But it also demonstrates how hard it is to accept that sadness is part of life and as people, we cannot be okay all the time. It is perfectly fine to not be perfect every day.

We are perfectly imperfect. Without sadness it makes us difficult to grow because we are unaware of our weak areas. Therefore, we cant work on them or develop coping mechanisms. I remember sitting in my room that was decorated with orange and white walls, my favorite orange lamp, and extremely colorful swirls, dots, and lines on my comforter. Yet, all I felt was blue. I would hate living in a house with so many people always questioning you are offering their unasked opinion, limited freedom, and lack of understanding of what it means to be a teenager in todays world. When these feelings started taking over me, I would hurry to take out my notebook and pen and just write as I tried to hold my tears from falling and drowning the emotions that were already on paper. I struggled to accept that sadness was okay and for a while wrote to get the part that “was wrong with me” out. And even after I felt better with writing, I still believed that I should have never felt like that in the first place. But today I am glad that I did.

It is easier to accept my emotions of insecurities and loneliness. As a result my feeling of unworthiness is at a minimum. After being more comfortable in myself by accepting emotions of sadness, I saw how my relationships grew and how much closer I am able to get to people in my life. It is also easier for me to listen and understand people’s sadness because I have been there and its okay not to be okay. And although I have said it before, I finally believe it now. Its okay not to be okay.

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