Will I Be Okay?

Its difficult and scary to write

Because I expose myself to myself

And I am always shivering in terror on what thoughts may come out on paper

Because they are a fantasy in mind until my fingertips makes them a reality

I start to learn about sadness that I never knew was present at the moment

It is usually, mostly always, about fears of the future

Like who will eventually not love me anymore, who will I lose, who wont I see again

Will I be happy? Am I doing the right things to be successful?

Then it turns into youtube and seeing people my age who have made it

People who are making business decisions

People who are doing what they love and are great at it

And I am a bystander, unknown how to make it in this world

I know success is different for everyone

But I want to know what success means to me

It seems to have dyed down during my first year of college

I need to sink my toes into the water and stop letting them get suffocated by the sand

I need to trust in myself, my future, and be patient

But patience is hard every time I find myself comparing who I am to who I want to be

And realizing I haven’t even started the race yet

I guess I just want to know,

Will I be okay ?

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4 thoughts on “Will I Be Okay?

  1. Doug says:

    I like writing fiction because I don’t have to be myself (only pieces) and I can write in different character’s voices. They can be brave when I’m not. They can be happy when I’m not. They can be sad when I’m happy. They can do things and die — I’d rather not. They can say ridiculous things and be ridiculed and sometimes the plot line will save them. Let them have love, and maybe they’ll lend me some. Fiction.

    Like

    • Jamerly says:

      I think that is why I enjoy reading books so much. It is like I am in a different world for a while. I am so glad that you are contributing to creating a new world. Congratz and good luck!

      Like

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