Going back through comments and likes and old post I realized how much I didn’t realize the connections I was making with you guys. There were so many successes throughout the year before and I did not pay as much attention to it as I should have. I am so sorry. Sometimes it takes hardships to realize success.
When I stopped writing I believed that I was a failure and unable to connect with people in the way I wanted to, but going back now that was a complete lie. I was in a slump that many people in my life probably did not notice. I share most of my feelings through writing and my writing is usually private, so how would anyone notice? Writing is where I release all my secrets and darkest feelings because I know people like you guys would listen when I believed no one else would. But somewhere between wanting to be great and feeling like I was not good enough I lost my courage to write. Which, undoubtedly was the only courage that I have.
Even sadder, it was not until recently, like twenty minutes ago, that I realized just how much I missed writing and how many feelings I did not allow myself to explore because I was not sharing them. In the process of losing writing, I lost myself and slowly but surely became a girl I did not know living in my own skin. And surely enough that led me to being in the same spot as I was years ago. Living a lie in my own reality.
Through writing again, I am relearning who I am. And that is one of the greatest values of writing. Writing allows me to break free in the skin that was once a cocoon to the butterfly I can be.