Mentally prepared

I usually take my Sundays to lay down and think about my future and every single possibility. I think about being a teacher, possibly a stylist, invision  my apartment, and think about all the pets I want to have. It’s really delightful to imagine my entire future. I hope that when I’m living life in the future it will be a daja vu so that everything I invision will come true.

But there are certain things that I do not want to come true. During moments of imagining I often times imagine horrible things that lead to tears. Most of the time it is a family member that I am really close to dying. It’s not that I want it to happen but it comes up when I’m thinking. I invision these deaths as old age, car accident, suicide, or shootings.
They always feel real when I think of these deaths and I start to get really sad and upset as if it were actually happening.

I don’t know why I think of these things, or if anyone else thinks of these things. But if i were to give an answer I would say I am mentally preparing myself for everything that might happen.


2 thoughts on “Mentally prepared

  1. SpiritYell says:

    I have thoughts like this sometimes. I call them “impulsive thoughts.” The thoughts that just race into your mind and you almost feel like you’re dooming the other person by simply thinking about their death. They’re terrible thoughts…not only do I not want those things to happen but if they do…was I the one that made them happen because I thought about it??? Grrrrrr….our brains can be quite the mess right? I love your posts. Keep them coming. šŸ™‚


    • Jamerly says:

      Yes. I never thought of it that way. But i often think that things will not come true unless they are said out loud. Aww thank you !!! I sure will.


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