I usually take my Sundays to lay down and think about my future and every single possibility. I think about being a teacher, possibly a stylist, invision my apartment, and think about all the pets I want to have. It’s really delightful to imagine my entire future. I hope that when I’m living life in the future it will be a daja vu so that everything I invision will come true.
But there are certain things that I do not want to come true. During moments of imagining I often times imagine horrible things that lead to tears. Most of the time it is a family member that I am really close to dying. It’s not that I want it to happen but it comes up when I’m thinking. I invision these deaths as old age, car accident, suicide, or shootings.
They always feel real when I think of these deaths and I start to get really sad and upset as if it were actually happening.
I don’t know why I think of these things, or if anyone else thinks of these things. But if i were to give an answer I would say I am mentally preparing myself for everything that might happen.