A gone father with a present relationship

My dad left to Florida 8 months ago. I did not know he was leaving. This is how it happened. I went into his room to ask him if he could take me to the mall today or tomorrow. Me knowing my dad I expected him to say, “one of these days” but instead he said “If we do not go today then we will never be able to go.” I already knew he was going because him and my mom had been talking about it the last couple of days I just didn’t believe that it was true, I did not want to.

Today was the first day after he left that I actually cried for him. I guess eight months is the time limit that justifies that he’s really not coming back. Him and my mom are still together and even though we just came back from seeing him I still feel like we are apart. Reflecting on it now it was hard to imagine ever leaving especially doing the tradition me and my dad always do before school, buying school supplies. This was an amazing moment for me but of course like always I didn’t tell him.

I can never find the words to tell people when I’m really happy or really upset, it all just stays bottled in. I’m affraid what might happen if I ever open it and let someone in. A lot of people don’t notice this about me but I only take them as far as I want them to go.

Back to my dad. I realized that he is in Florida trying to do his best for me, for us. Yet I can’t help but resent him a little because in my heart I know that he is nothing but a great man and I would want to hate him a little for leaving me but I can’t. Although our relationship has some miles in between and it feels as if we are apart, nothing has really changed.

He’s always there when I need something especially money. No matter how broke my dad is he will send me money to get whatever I want so that I can feel great. What more can we ask for as humans? Someone giving up all that they are and all that they have to make someone happy, that is way more than enough.

I’m guessing that’s why me and my dad get along extremely well. Because we both risk everything for the people we love. And that’s why we are also the ones that get hurt the most because the people we love sometimes do not love us back or not to the same extent.