The story repeats

Music speaks to me like nothing else could. It answers my questions without me having to ask them. It cheers me up without me pleading to do so. It makes me feel better and comforts me without asking for anything in return.

I remember one night, it was one of those nights where you are just not okay and you know it. So you go to your room and lock the door, slowly go underneath your covers, slip your headphones on and just listen. As the words speak to you, you just lay and cry because you dont know what else to do. Then comes that moment where you sit up because laying down hurts too much or not enough and as you lay you go deeper into your thoughts and into yourself. Realizing that you might be psycho, contemplating maybe its okay knowing its not. No one should ever feel that way, no one should ever feel as if they are not good enough but you believe you are a no one so for you its okay. At least you think.

But thats when you realize that the music was just playing and that you were not listening. So you put a song on and lay back down to listen, but can’t help but begin to think not remembering you were only suppose to be listening. So whats next you think as the music answers. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera comes on and you dont feel at all beautiful but as the tears rush down and half your face is wet, that song tells you that you are not the only one. And that helps because just like you they are plenty of others who do not feel good enough and who constantly think about it just like you. And you promise never to think that way again, until a week later where you break that promise and the story repeats.

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